Tuesday, August 19, 2008

How To Catch A Man (or How To Use Up Those Pictures You Don't Know What To Do With)

First, it helps if you are a parsnip-nosed witch.

Then, you must use one of your jack-o-lanterns to brew up some love poison (definitely not to be confused with love potion). Luckily, you'll have most of the ingredients just lying about.

First, add sausage.

You will also need green, slimy, kiwano melon (as a side, of course).

Your brew will magically turn into the largest sausage and egg pancake that the object of your desire has ever seen (most of you will need to go no further than this).

For those hard-to-get fellas, though, you may want to continue down the list.

You just bought yourself some time while he remains in his love poison-induced stupor.

Remember, it's important to just be yourself.
(but only as long as he remains in the stupor)

Transport him to the middle of nowhere (in a tree, preferably) so that he has no sense of direction.
Allow him to wander about until he finds that you have been "mysteriously" captured.

He will feel so sorry for you that he will buy you flowers. And a house in which to put them.

Feel free to live happily ever after.


lanes said...

Hahahaha!! Oh, Rachel, I adore you to pieces.

Annemarie said...

That's hilarious.

Joy said...

He he he he he he he he he he he he he, you, my dear, are something else! ...and I love you!

Jenny said...

Haha! I'm amazed by how your mind works!

tsbjf said...

I love how you put a story together with a bunch of random pictures!

MagenRanae said...

I want to know more about what that melon thing is!

Also, that's a gorgeous vase you've got those flowers in!!