Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Why Can't I Just Be Happy?

I love going to cheap movies. Thank goodness for the (2)dollar theater. At $4 + smuggled snacks, it makes for a very cheap and fun date. What more could I want?

There's just one thing though...

Movies make me crazy.

Call me cynical, but most movies suck in at least some way. Maybe the suck factor is very minimal, and I can basically enjoy the movie, but the suck factor IS there. Somewhere. Waiting. And then Rachel has to discuss (in extreme detail) all the reasons she didn't like the movie (even if, overall, she DID like the movie). And then Jono has to listen to all the reasons she didn't like the movie. And after exhausting all possible angles of the suck factor (hereafter referred to as "SF") you have to stop and realize that date night was just tainted by a team of relentlessly untalented movie makers (or of the two).

Whoa. I just read what I wrote up there. Can you say "dramatic"? Yeesh.

Moving on.

My opinions on movies can be so intense sometimes, that I forget that I'm an incredibly jerky person. You see, a surprising amount of people actually DON'T want you to continuously mock a movie that they really like. Isn't that weird? I guess if you start rolling your eyes and vomiting verbal abuses toward said movie they get kind of...kind of...I don't know...defensive and angry. Mostly I just enjoy dissecting the movie, and there's nothing more fun to dissect than something with a LOT of pungent examples.

Did I just say "pungent"?

Anyway, if you are reading this and remember a specific time when I have offended you in some uncommonly intense way, I officially apologize. I wasn't mocking YOU, I was mocking the movie. And if you like a movie so much that when I mock it, it's LIKE I'm mocking you...then that creates even more incidents that will need to be apologized for.

To sum up, I will probably try really, really hard not to offend you personally by being overly expressive about movies.

The End.

These movies suck:
The Notebook
Star Dust
The Happening

If you take the intensity of this post and reduce it by 75% you will have something that resembles the much less dramatic truth. Except for the movies that suck part. That's applicable at 100%.


lanes said...

Apology accepted. ;) You might remember one in particular I'm referring to...

However, I do agree with your assessment of The Notebook suckage. And I also never understood why so many girls so they cry at the end and that it's so sad. They die together at an old age. What is so sad about that? Ugh.

lanes said...

Whoops, meant to write "why so many girls SAY", not so.

beth said...

mkay, so, I think this is something I learned from you...because after we saw The Happening, I complained about it for weeks. That's right, weeks. And I've still got more in me, if anyone wants to hear my opinion of that movie....anyone?

Jenny said...

Wow! I'm totally different from you! I love every movie I see! Once in a blue moon can I say that I didn't really like a movie. Also, The Notebook and Star Dust are two of my absolute favorite movies. I don't know how you couldn't like The Notebook. It's such a sweet story. They loved each other so much and in the end she remembered them and they got to die together in that way. Not with her not knowing what's going on and him thinking that she doesn't want anything to do with him.

tsbjf said...

Lol, you crack me up!

Joy said...

Yeah...I remember you making great fun of Spiderman 3.....still disagree. :)

Grace said...

Heh, yeah Beth, I think I was with you at least half of the times you went off about The Happening! Hey, remember when we went to the theater in Topeka and watched The Guardian? And remember when we didn't like it? and remember that we talked through it? and remember that Sarah really did, and slowly got more and more bitter and offended? oops.

MagenRanae said...

Hehe. I check your blog every day in hopes that you'll have something that cheers me up! You never fail!

I'm with Jenny in that I've liked almost every movie I've seen. And, if I don't like a movie, I probably can't tell you the name of it, b/c I haven't watched the whole thing, so don't have a lasting impression.