Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Things I Think About That Are Not Connected In Any Satisfying Way

People say that people with blogs are narcissistic. Maybe that's true, maybe it's not. The real question in my mind, though, is how one knows whether or not they are narcissistic.

Which reminds me of my brother Matt who used to say, "you always call me retarded, but how does someone know if they are retarded or not? Would you really tell me if I was?" To which I always responded, "I'm telling you right now, retard." I was a very kind child.

Do people really think that butts are cute? Or are they just cute compared to some butts? Who was the first person to talk about how cute some one's bottom was? Did that person even realize what comes out of those?

Which is less "lady like"?
1) Burping
2) Farting
3) Scratching

Do most people pay attention to library due dates? As a general rule growing up, my family did everything on time. And by "everything" I mean "hardly anything." But once I was visiting the Johnson household (this memory has stuck with me for many years) and someone mentioned their book being due the next day, and they had better finish it that night. Does everyone but me work like this, and I just never knew it?

Are there a lot of people who are afraid to touch bugs? I mean, all bugs. As a child I would pretend like I wasn't afraid of touching them. Guess who was always the one to hold the jar when "we" caught lightning bugs? And last week I asked Jono to tell me a bedtime story. He asked me what I would like to hear about. I answered "Butterflies. Wait, no. Butterflies that fly around and are pretty but don't land on you or touch you at all."
That was a great story.

True or False: Squirrels are rat demons
If you answered "false" you are a rat demon-lover

When you hear the word "demo" what do you think of? My work leads me to believe it means "demonstrate." Jono's work leads him to believe it means "demolition."
This has caused some confusion in our conversations.

Who would win, Indiana Jones or Han Solo?
Ever since Jono asked me, I've been plagued by this question.


Eden said...

Does Han Solo get Chewie to help him out? Because, really, if Han isn't a packaged deal - without the wookie that is - he would definitely lose to Indiana Jones.
I am surprised at you not knowing this right off, Rachel. Surprised... and disappointed.

Rachel said...

But Han Solo has futuristic weapons... I still don't know

Jenny said...

mmmm, I don't even know what to say

Joy said...

So many good questions....I always wondered if maybe I am retarded and people are just nice to me cause I'm a retard...and even though I've been reassured before that I'm not retarded...sometimes I still wonder...

I really do think butts can be hubby has a very cute butt :) ...and it's a clean butt, so I don't worry about what comes out of it.

Hm....farting or scratching, I's a toss-up.

I do indeed pay attention to library due dates, have you never had a fine for a late book??!

I don't like bugs, I don't like to touch bugs...can't think of any I'd like to touch.

I don't really know what a rat demon is....

I think of demolition, mostly cause of all the HGTV shows where they "demo the kitchen"...or whatever else they demo before they re-build.

Don't know...but I'm guessing Indiana, he's pretty slick.

MagenRanae said... always crack me up!

- I don't think butts are cute, at all.

- I tend to think "lady like" is an "all or nothing" deal. One thing is no less lady like than another

- I don't normally pay attention to due dates, but I'm currently paying $0.10 per day for a book I didn't like.

- I just recently paid a small fortune for a "'terminator" to keep the bugs far away from me.

- Your "rat-demon lover" comment reminded me of Jonathan. Whenever his wife calls him a dork, or whatever, Jonathan calls her a "dork marry-er"

Matt said...

My responses:
1) Yes, bloggers are narcissistic.
2) I eventually learned that I am slightly mentally handicapped... you should feel horrible.
3) I thought baby butts might be cute until I saw what CONSTANTLY comes out of them.
4) Farting.
5) I never return books on time.
6) Are you even afraid to touch lady bugs?
7) Yes. Rat demons.
8) When I hear "demo" I think of sample CDs made in order to get record deals.
9) Two years ago I would have said Indiana Jones was the clear favorite. Now I'm thinking Han Solo. Han never aged since he wasn't in anymore Star Wars movies. Whereas Indiana is now a crotchety old man in yet another Indy movie.

tsbjf said...

Let's see if I can remember everything. Butts. Well, Jenny always used to refer to butts as an attractive part, and I never understood that. I was much more into legs. I asked Jeremy which of the three, and he immediately answered "farting". I think it is scratching, because you just don't see women in public scratching themselves, you know? Guys get away with so much stuff. I have always followed due dates for books. Were the Johnsons Joy & Jenny's? I'm probably 50/50 with bugs. Some totally gross me out, some don't bother me at all. I like squirrels. Han Solo would totally win. And that's because I have seen all of the Star Wars movies and none of Indiana Jones. I was deprived as a child.